


Cure this Terminal Infection in My heart

by coldishcase



Series: Tumblr Prompts [16]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Anakin vs Obi-Wan, Angst, Hanahaki Disease, Hurt No Comfort, Mustafar, One-Sided Obi-Wan/Anakin, Other, ROTS, Rako Hardeen - Freeform, Unrequited Love, deception arc, hanahaki, not a happy fic, one-sided
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-01
Updated: 2020-09-01
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:01:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 953
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26224594
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/coldishcase/pseuds/coldishcase
Summary: Obi-Wan and Anakin always loved each other... until they didn't.
Relationships: Obi-Wan Kenobi/Anakin Skywalker, Padmé Amidala/Anakin Skywalker, anidala - Relationship
Series: Tumblr Prompts [16]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1853428
Comments: 34
Kudos: 98





	Cure this Terminal Infection in My heart

**Author's Note:**

> Title from 'Terminal Infection' by The Hunger
> 
> master-obi-wan-kenboneme asked:
> 
> i'd really love to see an Obikin unrequited love kinda thing where Obi-Wan just watches Anakin sneak off to talk to Padme every time they go on a mission and he just like... breaks down bc of course the one person he falls in love with is off-limits. eventually he just becomes super emotionally closed off until Anakin gets super injured mid-battle and its v sad and Anakin doesn't love him back... been needing some Obikin angst if you can't tell

Obi-Wan knows he loves Anakin.

It's just a fact of life. The stars shine, the planets turn, and he loves Anakin Skywalker.

He's never doubted before that Anakin loved him in return. Perhaps not in the same way, but the love was there, fulfilling one another. They love each other like brothers.

And maybe more, he thinks on some days, but never acts on it.

His heart aches some days, watching Anakin sneaking around to be with Padmé... as if Obi-Wan doesn't know. As if he can't be trusted.

He lets it be, though. If Anakin wants to keep parts of his life private, that is his right. And the love between them is still there, still strong and unshakable, so he has faith that Anakin trusts him, he just wants some privacy.

Perhaps it's selfish for him to want more, some days. He can't help it, though. Anakin is the center of his life, his universe, it seems.

But he isn't the center of Anakin's.

And that's fine, as long as they still have one another.

He's always held this to be true; he's never doubted that Anakin's love for him was returned.

So why is his hand bloody?

Why is there a flower, petals black and speckled red with blood, sitting on his palm. So innocent and damming.

Black flowers, signifying death, a dead love.

His hand closes around the flower, his heart clenching with it.

When did he start coughing? When did Anakin stop loving him?

His eyes fall shut, thinking back and wondering what he did wrong.

And then he remembers--

_"You look terrible."_

_Obi-Wan groans, voice still modulated to sound like the Bounty hunter he's disguised as. "Being a criminal is not easy work."_

_"If I'd known what was going on, I could have_ helped _you." Anakin sounds frustrated, hurt. "Too bad the Council didn't trust me."_

_"... Anakin, it was my decision to keep the truth from you." And here, this must be where Obi-Wan made his mistake. "I knew if you were convinced I was dead, Dooku would believe it as well."_

_Anakin whips around on him, eyes alight. "Your decision." His voice is deceptively quiet._

_Obi-Wan backpedals, knowing he owes an apology, possibly multiple. "Look, I knows I did some questionable things, but... I did what I had to do." To save the Chancellor. Anakin's friend._

_Surely he knew why Obi-Wan did it? Not for Palpatine-- for Anakin. "I hope you can understand that."_

_"You lied to me." Anakin's gaze flickers between hurt and anger as he continues. "How many other lies have I been told by the Council? By_ you _? And how do you know that even you have the whole truth?!"_

_His words are harsh, and though Obi-Wan knows he deserves them, he feels the fissure form in his heart. He looks down as Anakin stalks away, a new pain in his chest._

_And then, a moment later, he coughs._

\-- the black flower feels heavy in his hand, his eyes stinging as he looks at it.

Obi-Wan drops the flower into his incinerator, then takes a deep breath. It catches in his throat, making him fall into another coughing fit, his chest rattling as he leans over the incinerator and expels petals into it.

The coughing breaks down into sobbing, and soon he's kneeling on the floor, both hands covering his face as he gasps for air and lets it out along with fat, hot tears.

Someone he loves no longer loves him back.

Anakin no longer loves him back.

All this time, wasted, pretending they didn't care dearly for each other... and he's finally broken them. He hurt Anakin too much, and it's all his own fault.

What can he do?

He can get surgery of course, have the flowers removed, along with his love for Anakin.

But what good would that do? Who would he be if he didn't love his other half? And it isn't something he can do in secret-- the council would know his shame, his status as a Council Member woukd be questioned.

If Anakin found out, he might feel guilty.

Obi-Wan can't have that.

Dex will know what to do.

He cleans himself up, resolving to go find the Besalisk at his diner, and pray that he knows of a solution. Perhaps there's a medicine he can take, something that will keep the disease at bay without removing his love entirely.

If anyone will know, Dex will.

And maybe, maybe he won't need it forever. Maybe he can repair what he has broken.

Only time will tell.

°|●*.•

Obi-Wan stands on the sands of Mustafar, heart shattered to pieces as he looks down at the man he once trusted with everything.

"You were the chosen one," he cried out brokenly between rattling coughs. "You were meant to destroy the sith, not join them!"

Those burning, sulphurous yellow eyes glare up at him from the lava bank. "I _hate_ you!!!"

Obi-Wan falls to his knees, coughing helplessly as the words strike him like a blow.

Those eyes that wear the face of his dearest friend watch him as he weakly hacks blood and a fully bloomed black flower up, into his hand.

His hand is soaked with red, and he knows that he can't outlast this disease any longer. There were no medications, nothing that could save him, and now that he has struck down the man he loves, he will die too.

His eyes sting with tears as he looks back down at Anakin, dropping the flower.

"I loved you."

And then he falls, lying on the black sand as smoke and blood fills his lungs. He lies there as Anakin screams, and he waits for death.

**Author's Note:**

> If you're crying, know that I am too ;-;
> 
> If you wanna prompt something, hit me up on my Tumblr! [@coldishcase](https://www.coldishcase.tumblr.com)


End file.
